Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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