We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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