there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
