No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
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There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
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I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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