Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize