On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
