My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
