Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
