I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
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I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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