i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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