it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You were trust falling into bushes
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
