all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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