what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
