"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
