It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
