She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
