I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize