Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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