i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
