hotel room ftw
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
