I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Success! We fucked roommates!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
