another moral hangover. fuck.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
