There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i can't believe i had my finger in that
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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