remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
