I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
