I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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