glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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