is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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