I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
