Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
