i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
