If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
