May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
