When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
