Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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