You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
