had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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