I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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