Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
