Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
