you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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