Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize