there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
