When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
