He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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