Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
