we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
