What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
