officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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