We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
