This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Boobs are out for the taking
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
