Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
