As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
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I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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