those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
