So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
