god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
