I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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