Just fell off a train. Bad.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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