we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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