just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
