My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
