So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
