I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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