I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
