The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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