Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
