Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize