I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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